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…only man can laugh, or needs to; and that if you are in that trade of helping others to laugh and to survive by laughter, then you are privileged indeed.
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[I thank] my darling Camilla, who has stood with me through thick and thin – and whose precious optimism and humour have seen me through.
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[I will never have] another Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy, Jimmy Carter, Jimmy Carter grain embargo, Jimmy Carter grain embargo.
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| Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.
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2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
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3 stages of marriage. 1st stage: 2 lions mating. 2nd stage: male in cage cowering as mate roars at him 3rd stage: male lion made into rug.
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668: The Neighbor of the Beast.
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A brief history of medicine: 2000 BC: Here, take this root. 1000 AD: That root is for a heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 AD: That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 AD: That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 AD: That pill is ineffective. Here take this antibiotic. 2000 AD: That antibiotic is artificial . Here, eat this root. 2005 AD: That root works! Read about it on my blog!
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A brilliant epigram is a solemn platitude gone to a masquerade ball.
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A Bus Station is where buses stop. A Train Station is where trains stop. On my desk, there is a Work Station.
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a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift for a guy… the plant is already dead (monologue Dec 10 2003).
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A fool and his money are soon venture capital.
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A good vacuum really sucks.
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A great step toward independence is a good humored stomach.’
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A hug is a handshake from the heart.
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A hug is a smile with arms, a laugh with a stronger grip.
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A humorist is a man who feels bad but feels good about it.
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A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.
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A jest breaks no bones.
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A jest often decides matters of importance more effectual and happily than seriousness.
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