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It’s tough to know who’s better in cliff diving. Like, you see a guy diving off a cliff and you go, ‘Oh, man, a guy diving off a cliff! And then another guy’d dive- ‘Oh, there’s another guy diving off a cliff there. But you can’t tell who’s better, y’know? Like, uh- if you survive at all, hey, you’re a great- you’re a great cliff diver there. There’s only two classifications in cliffdiving. There’s, uh- ‘Grand Champion’ and then, uh- ‘Stuff On a Rock.’ Very hard to make a comeback in that sport, I’ll tell you that.
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Japan is an important ally of ours. Japan and the United States of the Western industrialized capacity, 60 percent of the GNP, two countries. That’s a statement in and of itself.
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Just because you’re not paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.
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Just because you”re not paranoid doesn”t mean they”re not out to get you.
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Just give up. Use windows. Use explorer. Buy an SUV for your daily commute. Shop at Fry’s. Use PacBell DSL. Listen to top 40. It’ll all just be so much easier. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
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Kerry and Kennedy.. those 2 giant heads coming down the street together! like a Macy’s Day parade.
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Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.
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Laughing at ourselves is possible when we are able to see humanity as it is– a little lower than the angels and at times only slightly higher than the apes.
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Levity is often less foolish and gravity less wise than each of them appears.
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Males are born with a closed fist. Girls are born with the left hand cramped in a position of the size of an American Express card.
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Man was predestined to have free will.
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Man, them engagement rings, boy, they cost a lot. I was looking at ’em. Cost like a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, y’know. Three thousand bucks. Something like that- four thousand bucks. Big number divisible by a thousand, anyways.
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Many a true word is spoken in jest.
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Many trees were cut down by the storm. The deer think it’s Thanksgiving.
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Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.
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Meat or the flesh of animals has a distinctive addictive taste of uric acid, pre urine or trioxypurine, 3 oxypurines to every 2 of caffein.. dioxypurine. If you miss it, just take out a veggie burger and wizz on it.
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Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?
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Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson .. do you think I am Oscar material? Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe NBC Tonight Show writers
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Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit.
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Murphy was an optimist.
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