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People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do.
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Perhaps some saint drove them out of England (in response to a question about why one sees few ants in London).
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Personally, I don’t do anything unnatural to my food. No other animal cooks their food, so I don’t cook anything I eat, or eat anything that I didn’t pull from the ground or kill with my bare hands. Also, I eat it without utensils, since no other animal does that, and I don’t prepare anything I eat – I just pull whatever I want from the carcass right there. My backyard is starting to stink a lot, as I don’t bury anything I kill since animals don’t.
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Political experts say Ohio is the new Florida. .. bad news for spring break.
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Poor George. He can’t help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.
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Prime minister’s questions with Tony Blair there is some sort of light and shadow and he’s got a sense of humour… I’m not sure with Gordon Brown how many light moments there will be.
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Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.
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Probably it is impossible for humor to be ever a revolutionary weapon. Candide can do little more than generate irony.
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Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
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Remember, anyone can juggle for a second.
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Sanity is a one trick pony — all you have is rational thought. But when you’re good and loony, the sky’s the limit!
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She was as humorless as a chicken.
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She’s a hoot – an incredible sense of humour [on Camilla Parker-Bowles]
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She”s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
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Shop our store with great deals on the material things you capitalist pigs have been brainwashed into craving.
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Some children’s answers to church school questions – from the Church of England:
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Some days, it is not even worth chewing through the restraints!
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Sometimes it”s better to put love into hugs than to put it into words.
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Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I’ll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I’m gone, but you know what I’ve left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it’s head with a note that says You. After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
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Sometimes when I’m driving behind a big cement truck, I think of how the valve on the truck could suddenly open, spilling cement over my car, encasing me inside and leaving me to slowly fall into an oxygen-deprived coma, from which I awaken five years later to find my wife remarried to my best friend. But then I think maybe I’m just being paranoid, because what are the odds of *that* happening again?
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