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We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don’t even have to go to the hospital.
Author: Brad Park
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Black people dominate sports in the United States – 20 percent of the population and 90 percent of the Final Four. We own this shit. Basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, and as soon as they make a heated hockey rink we’ll take that shit too.
Author: Chris Rock
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Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.
Author: Doug Larson
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All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.
Author: Gordie Howe
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Don’t go through life without goals.
Author: Hockey Saying
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How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?
Author: Jacques Plante
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October is not only a beautiful month but marks the precious yet fleeting overlap of hockey, baseball, basketball, and football.
Author: Jason Love
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Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental.
Author: Jim McKenny
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A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can’t hit one another.
Author: Jimmy Cannon
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Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.
Author: Stephen Leacock
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By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series.
Author: Steve Rushin
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Hockey belongs to the Cartoon Network, where a person can be pancaked by an ACME anvil, then expanded – accordion-style – back to full stature, without any lasting side effect.
Author: Steve Rushin
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Some people skate to the puck. I skate to where the puck is going to be.
Author: Wayne Gretzky
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A fast body contact game played by men with clubs in their hands and knives laced to their feet.- Paul Gallico
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A player must be able to skate, have hockey sense, be able to shootnot necessarily able to score and have drive.- Pierre Page
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All that means is that I’ll be 783 years old when I catch Scotty Bowman.- Kevin Constantine
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Aw, don’t worry about that Doc. If it happens I could always come back as a forward.- Harold Snepsts
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Bob Kelly was so dumb, they shoulda written his name on the Stanley Cup in crayon.- Gene Hart
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Either you give it right back or the next thing you know everyone and his brother will be trying you on for size.- Doug Harvey
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Four out of five dentists surveyed recommended playing hockey. ~Author Unknown
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