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Person (angered): Hey, get that thing out of my face!You (calmly): It’s not in your face, it’s in my hand.
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Person: So what are you going to be for Halloween?You: Well I was wondering if I could borrow the mask you’re wearing now!
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Save a tree, eat a beaver’
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Save the world’Kill yourself
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saying you are right when you’re wrong only gives you the right to be wrong’
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so he drops her off at a gas station.
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Statistics are overrated’20% of people know that!
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The average person thinks he isnt.- Father Larry Lorenzoni
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The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.
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The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
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The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
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There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors.- Jim Morrison
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They say you should never look back, so i focused on what was in front of me. Little did i know’ a car was coming’
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War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
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We can forgive those who bore us. We cannot forgive those whom we bore.
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What people call insincerity is simply a method by which we can multiply our personalities.- Oscar Wilde
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When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.- Hermann Hesse
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when i get home at night i look up at the sky and talk to the stars pretending its you. it acts just like you though, very far away and never responds to anything i say.
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When people ask me with a judging undertone just why it is i’m talking to myself, I answer them: ‘At least, this way, i’m sure that i’m talking to someone as intelligent as myself, which is as hard to find as a decent answer to that ridiculous question.’
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who ever said that nothing was impossiable obviously never tried slaming a revolving door
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