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Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
Author: , as seen on a shirt
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
Author: American Proverb
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Americans are broad-minded people. They’ll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn’t drive, there is something wrong with him.
Author: Art Buchwald, ‘How Un-American Can You Get?,’ Have I Ever Lied to You?, 1966
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Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety.
Author: Australian Traffic Rule, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren
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A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
Author: Bill Vaughan
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We are not proving ourselves spiritually worthy of our material progress. We have not been neighborly, courteous, and kind upon the highway. Our lack of decency toward our fellow men is a definite black mark against us.
Author: Cary T. Grayson
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The automobile is technologically more sophisticated than the bundling board, but the human motives in their uses are sometimes the same.
Author: Charles M. Allen
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Remember the street car cannot turn out.
Author: Charles M. Hayes
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On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park.
Author: Curtis McDougall
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The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
Author: Dave Barry, ‘Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn’
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If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
Author: Doug Larson
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Your grandchildren will likely find it incredible – or even sinful – that you burned up a gallon of gasoline to fetch a pack of cigarettes!
Author: Dr. Paul MacCready, Jr.
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The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
Author: Dudley Moore
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Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.
Author: E.B. White, One Man’s Meat, 1943
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The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the ignition key.
Author: Edward Abbey
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You can’t see anything from a car; you’ve got to get out of the goddamn contraption and walk, better yet crawl, on hands and knees, over the sandstone and through the thornbrush and cactus. When traces of blood begin to mark your trail, you’ll see something, maybe.
Author: Edward Abbey
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The car has become a secular sanctuary for the individual, his shrine to the self, his mobile Walden Pond.
Author: Edward McDonagh
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No one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means.
Author: Garrett Hardin, The Ecologist, February 1974
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It wasn’t the Exxon Valdez captain’s driving that caused the Alaskan oil spill. It was yours.
Author: Greenpeace advertisement, New York Times, 25 February 1990
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Driving a brand new car feels like driving around in an open billfold with the dollars flapping by your ears as they fly out the window.
Author: Grey Livingston
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