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: People who drink light beer don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
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A blunderer is a man who starts a meat market during Lent.- James Montgomery Bailey
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A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.- Buster Keaton
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A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.
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A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
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A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
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A kiss blown is a kiss wasted…the only real kind of kiss is a kiss tasted
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A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.- Cyrano De Bergerac
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A line is a dot that went for a walk.- Paul Klee
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A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.- Moliere
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A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
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A man who has a million dollars is as well off as if he were rich.
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A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
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A pessimist is one who, when he has a choice of two evils, chooses both.
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A stronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can’t remember where they leave things.
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A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: ‘Duh.’ Conan O’Brien quotes
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A stupid man’s report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
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A thunderstorm is God’s way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer.- Anonymous
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