Famous Funny Quotes Part – 13

Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 13 of Funny Quotes.

I think I am about 5 for 500 when it comes to successful ideas vs flops.- Jeremy Schoemaker

~~~~~~~

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

~~~~~~~

I think I’ve forgotten this before.

~~~~~~~

I think serial monogamy says it all.

~~~~~~~

I think that’s how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, ‘Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough, let’s go west.’ Richard Jeni quotes

~~~~~~~

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades or a game of fake heart attack.- Demetri Martin

~~~~~~~

I told the Inland Revenue I didn’t owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.

~~~~~~~

I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.

~~~~~~~

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

~~~~~~~

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.- Anonymous

~~~~~~~

I usually take a two hour nap from one to four.

~~~~~~~

I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.- Andrea Dworkin

~~~~~~~

I want you to put more life into your dying.

~~~~~~~

I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.

~~~~~~~

I was hooked on writing. I mean, where else can you get paid for sticking your nose into somebody else’s business – Bette Greene

~~~~~~~

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

~~~~~~~

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.- Rodney Dangerfield

~~~~~~~

I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

~~~~~~~

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.- Joe E. Lewis

~~~~~~~

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That’s like a free compliment and you don’t even gotta be smart to notice it.