Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 15 of Funny Quotes.
If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
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If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?
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If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair?
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If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?
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If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
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If God only gave me a clear sign; like making a large deposit in my name at a swiss bank.
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If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor.
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If he had gunpowder for brains he couldn’t blow his cap off.
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If inert is to be stationary, what is ert?
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If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it must be a duck.- Proverb
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If it weren’t for pick-pocketers I’d have no sex life at all.
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If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.- Dave Allen
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
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If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
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If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.- Johnny Carson
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If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
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If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound ?
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If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn’t swim.- Margaret Thatcher
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If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.
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If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
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