Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 16 of Funny Quotes.
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
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If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
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If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, ‘Quit while you’re ahead’?
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If shampoo comes in so many colors, why is the lather on your head always white?
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If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?
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If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing?
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If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can’t find himself?
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If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
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If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
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If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn’t they call you first?
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If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
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If the gods had intended for people to vote, they would have given us candidates.- Howard Zinn
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If the minimum wasn’t acceptable it wouldn’t be called the minimum.- George Muncaster
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If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear. Winnie the Pooh quotes
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If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
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If the professor on Giligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
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If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
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If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
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