Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 17 of Funny Quotes.
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don’t they wear a pair of bras?
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If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
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If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?
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If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.
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If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?
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If you can read the marking, isn’t that end already up?
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If you can test drive cars at the dealer’s, why not test-drive lawnmowers around at a hardware store?
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If you can’t answer a man’s arguments, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.- Elbert Hubbard
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If you can’t convince them, confuse them.- Harry S Truman
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If you can’t drink and drive, why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
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If you died with braces on would they take them off?
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If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?
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If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing you money?
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If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?
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If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: ‘Take two aspirin’ and ‘Keep away from children’. Anonymous quotes
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If you have an open mind why don’t your brains fall out?
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If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says — ‘objects in mirror are closer than they appear’, how can that be possible?
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If you keep trying to prove Murphy’s Law, will something keep going wrong?
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If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
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