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If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage?
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If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?
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If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time?
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If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you’re done?
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If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
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If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
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If you take a shower, where do you put it?
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If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
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If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
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If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?
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If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?
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If you wore a teflon suit, could you ever end up in a sticky situation?
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If you would like to know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.
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If your wife wants to learn to drive, don”t stand in her way. Sam Levenson # Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we”ll find it.
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If you”re an ant, and you”re walking along across the top of a cup of pudding, you probably have no idea that the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of that pudding skin.
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If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
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If you’re traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
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I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.
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I”m astounded by people who want to ”know” the universe when it”s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
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I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in it’s holder is a thrill.
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