Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 24 of Funny Quotes.
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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My wife and I had words, but I never got to use mine.
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Never fight an inanimate object.
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Never floss with a stranger.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
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Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.
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Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.- Dave Barry
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
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No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris.- Orville Wright
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No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven’t done.’ Ogden Nash
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Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter.
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Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
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Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He’s an East German Shepherd.
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O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
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Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
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Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. Drew Carey quotes
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Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
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On a tombstone: I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK
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