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On another night, they’d have won 2-2.
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On the other hand you have different fingers.
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On the periodic table, why do some elements have symbols with letters that aren’t even in the word?
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Once when I was lost….. I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him ….. do you think we’ll ever find them? He said … I don’t know kid …. there are so many places they can hide.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.- Groucho Marx
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One of the strange things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones that never have it.
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Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. Oscar Wilde quotes
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Only one man ever understood me, and he didn’t understand me.- G.W. Hegel
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Operator, give me the number for 911!- Homer J Simpson
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Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
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Our comedies are not to be laughed at.
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Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
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Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
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Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.
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Part of the $10 million I spent on gambling, part on booze and part on women. The rest I spent foolishly.
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People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.
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People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
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People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
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People eager to get married can be trusted about as much as people eager to get elected.- Anonymous
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People generally quarrel because they cannot argue.
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