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Shouldn’t we be afraid of the sudden stop?
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Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.- Anonymous
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Since we see little birdies when we just get knocked out, what do little birdies see when they just get knocked out?
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Since you have to pull over when you see a funeral coming down the road…what would you do if there were a funeral coming down both sides?
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Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. –Lady Astor to Winston Churchill Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. –His reply The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they’re going to be when you kill them.
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Some guy hit my fender and I said ‘be fruitful and multiply’ but not in those words.- Woody Allen
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Somebody hits me, I’m going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn’t eaten in a while. {after blatantly elbowing an Angolan basketball opponent in the Olympics}.
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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. Calvin & Hobbes quotes
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Sometimes I’m so sweet even I can’t stand it.- Julie Andrews
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Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!- Monty Python
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Suicide is cheating the doctor’s out of a job.
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Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
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Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.
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Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else.- Proverb
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The best armor is staying out of gun-shot.- Italian Proverb
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The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.
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The best way to lose weight is to eat all you want of everything you don’t like.- Anonymous
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The consumer isn’t a moron; she is your wife.
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The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.
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