Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 28 of Funny Quotes.
The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle.- Bob Varsha
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The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is out grossing my films.- Paul Newman
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The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
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The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level.
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The General was essentially a man of peace, except of course in his domestic affairs.
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The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.
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The government’s income policy is as significant as a blush on a dead man’s cheek.
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The greatest love is a mother’s; then a dog’s; then a sweetheart’s.- Polish Proverb
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The greatest misfortune that ever befell man was the invention of printing.
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The hardest thing in the world to understand is income tax.
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The House of Commons is the longest running farce in the West End.
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The keeper was unsighted – he still didn’t see it.
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The last sound on the worthless earth will be two human beings trying to launch a homemade spaceship and already quarreling about where they are going next.
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The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
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The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.- Oscar Wilde
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The midfield is outnumbered numerically.
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The most terrifying words in the English langauge are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.
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The one advantage of playing with fire…is that no one ever gets singed. It is the people who don’t know how to play with it who get burned up.’ Oscar Wilde
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The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.
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The only reason I played golf was so that I could afford to go hunting and fishing. Sam Snead quotes
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