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There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
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There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
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There are three ways of losing money: Racing is the quickest, women the most pleasant, and farming the most certain.
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There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.- Bill Cosby
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There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time.- Coco Chanel
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There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.- Josh Groban
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There’s nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch.
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There’s two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
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They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?
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They were a people so primitive they did not know how to get money, except by working for it.
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Thieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.
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Those who can do, those who can’t teach.
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Time is God’s way to keep everything from happening at once.
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To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
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To make a million, start with $900,000.
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To me, clowns aren”t funny. In fact, they”re kinda scary. I”ve wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
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To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.- Woody Allen
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Traditionally most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.- Keppel Enderbery
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Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.- Joan Rivers
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