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When you come to a fork in the road, take it – Yogi Berra If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!
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When you invite the whole world to your party, inevitably someone pees in the beer.- Xeni Jardin
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When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
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When you put ‘THE’ and ‘IRS’ together, it forms ‘THEIRS’. Coincidence? I think not?
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When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.- Dorothy Parker
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When your IQ rises to 28, sell.- Irwin Corey
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When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
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When you’re sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
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When you’ve got them by their wallets, their hearts and minds will follow.
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Whenever I hear any one arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
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Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I’m thirsty, not dirty.- Joe E. Lewis
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Where are Preparations A through G?
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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.- Jerry Seinfeld
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Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?
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Who invented accents?
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Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?
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Why are boxing rings square?
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Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?
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Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
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Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?
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