Comprehensive collection of Humour Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Humour Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Humour Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Humour Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Humour Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Humour Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 17 of Humour Quotes.
There’s a … distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
~~~~~~~
There’s a hell of a difference between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
~~~~~~~
There’s a woman in China having a baby every 6 minutes. They’re trying to find her to stop her.
~~~~~~~
There’s no trick to being a humourist when you have the whole government working for you.
~~~~~~~
There’s terrific merit in having no sense of humour, no sense of irony, practically no sense of anything at all. If you’re born with these so-called defects you have a very good chance of getting to the top.
~~~~~~~
There’s the humour of it.
~~~~~~~
They have now discovered that the Messiah has come again.. they can’t release the news til she gives up smoking.
~~~~~~~
They were the type of children who would kill both parents and make you feel sorry for them because they were orphans.
~~~~~~~
Think about how stupid the average person is, then realize that half of us are stupider than that.
~~~~~~~
Three men were sentenced to the guillotine, a Nazi, a French Communist and a Jew. The Nazi clicked his heels, raised his hand in salute, said Heil Hitler, and laid his head on the block. The knife came down, shuddered to a halt a half inch from his neck. The Commandant directed that, after such an ordeal, the prisoner should not be executed again, and he was released. The Frenchman raised his fist, cried Vive La Revolution, and laid his head on the block. Again the knife stopped just short. Again he was released. The Jew stepped up and said , Well I can tell you why your guillotine isn’t working. See, there is a twist in the cord right there… (in the book FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WATER http://www.xlibris.com).
~~~~~~~
Today is the last day of some of your life.
~~~~~~~
True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart; it is not contempt; its essence is love; it issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper. It is a sort of inverse sublimity, exalting, as it were, into our affections what is below us, while sublimity draws down into our affections what is above us.
~~~~~~~
Two men are in a bathroom. The plutocrat says to the democrat: At our public school they taught us to wash our hands after we urinate. The democrat replied: At mine they taught us not to urinate on our hands.
~~~~~~~
Unconscious humor.
~~~~~~~
Until I was 16 I thought my name was shut up.
~~~~~~~
Virgos administer charity with tweezers (said in self deprecating humor about his virgo planets) (Virgo pours out his life in service to others).
~~~~~~~
Virgos hate chaos. Pisces is the chaos of the ocean. Virgos administer this chaos with tweezers: ‘a drop for you.. a drop for you’.
~~~~~~~
‘We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.’
~~~~~~~
We are not amused!
~~~~~~~
We do not take humor seriously enough
Leave a Reply