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If you want to be well liked, never lie about yourself, and be careful when telling the truth about others.
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If you want to get along, go along.
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If you want to make an enemy, do someone a favor.
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If your next pot of chili tastes better, it probably is because of something left out, rather than added.
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If your parents didn’t have children, odds are that you won’t either.
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If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
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Ignorance is bliss. No wonder I’m so depressed.
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Illegitimus non Carborundem: Don’t let the scum bags grind you down.
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I’m a lawyer.’ ‘Honest?’ ‘No, the usual kind.’
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I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
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I’m at the corner of Walk and Don’t Walk.
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I’m just visiting. My REAL planet is sane.
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I’m losing my thought of train….
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I’m lost in a Batch of BATs.
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I’m neither for, nor against apathy
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I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
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I’m not crazy; I’m just a sane person trapped in the body of a lunatic.
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I’m not nearly as think as you confused I am!
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I’m not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
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I’m schizophrenic.
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