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Alligator Allegory: The objective of all dedicated product support employees should be to thoroughly analyze all situations, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have answers for these problems, and move swiftly to solve these problems when called upon. However, when you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.
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Allison’s Precept: The best simple-minded test of experience in a particular area is the ability to win money in a series of bets on future occurrences in that area.
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And folks are beginning to think it looks odd, To choke a poor scamp for the glory of God.
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And he that gives us in these days New Lords may give us new laws.
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And they have been grand-jurymen since before Noah was a sailor.
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And through the heat of conflict keeps the law In calmness made, and sees what he foresaw.
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Anderson’s Law: I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.
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Andrews’ Canoeing Postulate: No matter which direction you start it’s always against the wind coming back.
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Annoyance, Law of: When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you’re certain you’re finished with, you will need it instantly.
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Anthony’s Law of Force: Don’t force it; get a larger hammer.
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Anthony’s Law of the Workshop: Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
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Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object.
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Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
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Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
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Anything labeled ‘NEW’ and/or ‘IMPROVED’ isn’t. The label means the price went up. The label ‘ALL NEW’, ‘COMPLETELY NEW’, or ‘GREAT NEW’ means the price went way up.
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Applied Confusion, Fourth Law of: In any structure, pick out the one piece that should not be mismarked and expect the plant to cross you up.
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Applied Confusion, Law of: The one piece that the plant forgot to ship is the one that supports 75% of the balance of the shipment.
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Applied Confusion, Second Law of: Truck deliveries that normally take one day will take five when you are waiting for the truck.
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Applied Confusion, Third Law of: After adding two weeks to the schedule for unexpected delays, add two more for the unexpected, unexpected delays.
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Applied Terror, Corollary to the Fourth Law of: The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.
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